do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Naked Twister starts at high noon
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
