clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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