Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
