She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
