The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
