yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
