You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
