She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize