It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
