guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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