When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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