How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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