D3 body, D1 cock
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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