The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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