It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
