and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
