He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
