I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
