I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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