I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
