I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize