i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
