Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
