I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
