you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
