It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
In America we eat man semen.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
