Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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