Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
