She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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