But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
