your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
