Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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