i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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