My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
