My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
