Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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