All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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