You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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