Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
