Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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