We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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