Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
