Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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