sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
