whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
