Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
