Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
