she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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