too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
