Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
