mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
