y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
