I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
