You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize