I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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