Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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