I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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