Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
