Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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