could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
