Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
