Cold hands, warm shart.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
