come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
