Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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