Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize