its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize