I wish I could teleport
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
