You're my little dorito
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
