epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
