At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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