Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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